Patty and Eddie – Two Drummers, One Beat

There are many influential people who come into a person’s life, but few who impact a person for a lifetime.  The one person who has impacted me more deeply than any other is Patty, my wife of twenty-seven years.  During our early years together, we were drawn closer by our search for something more.  Being raised in the seventies and coming of age in the eighties, neither one of us had a sense of what truly mattered.  The counter-cultural values of the seventies mixed with the “Me Decade” of the eighties made for a confusing time to be a young adult.  While the uncertainty of the Cold War loomed, there were still small glimmers of hope.  It was out of this unpredictability, that a New Wave of musical artist invaded from overseas and emerged domestically. Patty and I had a common interest in art, specifically music, which brought us together.  Music became the catalyst that helped Patty and me discover our love for each other and our love for God. 

Patty and Eddie in Mr. Hoose's  fifth and sixth grade class.

As children, Patty and I lived in the same suburban neighborhood. We rode the same yellow school bus together every day for years.  In my eyes, she was just another annoying, stuck-up, tough girl, who had no interest in me.  However, in my senior year of high school, something changed.  Without warning, it was as if my eyes had seen her for the first time.  She had not changed; my perception of her changed.  She appeared to be the most beautiful woman God had ever made.  Despite my interest, I was reluctant to approach her, let alone ask for a date.  As it would happen, one day the bus broke down just beyond my house.  This would be the kick in the pants I needed to overcome my fear and get to know her. In spite of the fact it was several miles, Patty and her best friend decided to walk home.  The opportunity presented itself as they were walking past my house to offer them a ride.  Instead of going to school, we all decided to go to the mall.  Once we arrived at the mall, we noticed the parking lot was empty.  The mall was closed.  So instead of doing who knows what at the mall, we went to Patty’s best friend’s house.  Although I would not advocate skipping school, that day was a major turning point in my life.  Her positive influence in my life began that day as our life-paths did not just cross; they converged.

Spending our first day together is what kick-started our relationship. The round-trip drive to and from the mall allowed ample time to for conversation.  The topics of conversation included the mundane, such our opinions of certain teachers and classes.  At times the banter became silly, as we spoke of things we knew nothing about, like politics.  Yet, somehow, the conversation always came back to musical taste.  Perhaps that was because any lull in the conversation was filled by the sounds of the radio.  It became clear, however, that she was a fun-loving, free-spirit, like me.  It was obvious by her tone, demeanor, and sense of humor that she did not care to impress people.  She even had a buzz cut in high school, like Sinead O’Connor, which piqued my interest in her.  It was not really the buzz cut itself, but what it said about her. She was not, nor is she, concerned about impressing others.  She showed me I should not judge people by their outward appearance, but by their true being, their heart.  Her heart lead me to open mine to being more accepting of people who express themselves differently than me.

Although our taste in music was as different as night and day, we were able to find common ground. Some of her musical tastes, such as the Dead Kennedys, I absolutely despised.  On the other hand, there were some I liked, such as Billy Idol, The Clash, and Bob Marley.  So, I did what many men before me did, I adapted by immediately buying some new cassettes.  Since Billy Idol was on sale at the local record store, he landed at the top of the playlist on our first date.  Billy was pumping out of the cassette deck in my 1979 Chevette upon arrival at Patty’s house.  As our relationship expanded, so our musical taste merged into more common ground with artist like Cyndi Lauper and UB40.  Cyndi’s song “Time After Time,” along with UB40’s cover of “I Got You Babe,” became part of our journey’s soundtrack.  Cyndi’s lyrics continue to sum up our feelings for each other, “If you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time, if you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time” (Lauper, Hyman).  Patty’s impact in this area of my life is the fuel I burn to continue on this stretch of the road.

Although we still listen to the occasional Clash or Bob Marley record, our musical taste has changed dramatically over the last twenty years.  Since becoming Christians in 1993, we set the negatively influential music to the side of the road.  We exchanged it for the positive, affirming music of contemporary Christian artists.  Looking back at the long and winding road, I can see God’s hand in it all.  He brought us together, two broken halves that fit together like jigsaw puzzle pieces and made us one.  Little did we know that day the bus broke down, God had set a divine appointment for us to meet.  He intended not only for Patty and me to meet, He also intended for both of us to meet Him.  God used her to make me realize the essential truth of life, that we are designed to love and accept one another.  Jesus stated over two-thousand years ago, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments” (Bible –New Living Translation, Matt. 22:37-40 ).

Even after thirty years of sojourning together, my wife is still my greatest source of encouragement and influence here on Earth.  Her influence stretches far beyond my musical taste, but permeates every aspect of my being.  As Henry David Thoreau stated, "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer” (Thoreau).  Once we were marching to different drummers.  Now our path is in sync with each other and in harmony with God.

Works Cited

Bible - New Living Translation. Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, 2014.

Lauper, Cyndi, and Hyman, Rob. "Time After Time." She’s So Unusual. Epic Records, 1983. CD.

Thoreau, Henry David. Walden. Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854. Print.